Diary of a SubUrban Housewife

Thanksgiving Diva

At this writing the cranberries are made (from scratch, thank you very much), the cranberry/blueberry pie is cooling (also from scratch), the stuffing is prepped and in the back fridge along with the turkey, just waiting for morning to come.

Husband will be home tonight, more than 12 hours earlier than expected. Yeah!

Tomorrow: roast turkey, make mashed potatoes, make gravy, and rolls.

Maids arrive at 8:00 am. OK, I know they're odius, but at least I won't have to vacuum.

Father is bringing the alcohol.

My sister is bringing the veggies (organic, of course).

I'm soooo ready.

But more about the sister. My sister is 41, single, and though I love her with all my heart, she is the most self-involved person I've ever met. About 18 months ago she decided to consult with a nutritionist who put her on a food program, the rhyme or reason of which still continue to elude me. This "program" involves lots of veggies, grade B maple syrup, and dietary supplements. While she isn't as strict about the "program" anymore, she's all about organic.

Any time you're at her house and she offers you something, it is followed by the phrase, "it's organic." Last week she offered me a piece of chocolate, it's organic.

I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. I eat my share of junk food. Dr. Pepper is my beverage of choice. I live for chocolate. Do you think I give a shit if it's organic? No. Give me a Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar and I'm your slave-girl. I know what I'm getting. Organic chocolate? Is it chocolate or mocolate? I don't think so.

I got my turkey free at Ralphs. It was frozen. It's been thawing in the back fridge. Here's the thing: I fully intend to tell her that I got a fresh, free-range, organic turkey from Whole Foods. I will guarantee you that she will think it's the most fabulous turkey she's ever eaten in her entire "organic" life.

OK, so I'm a Thanksgiving Diva, and a bit of a bitch.

Oh, and Happy Turkey Day everyone.

Posted by beth at November 26, 2003 08:03 PM