December 04, 2003

I Say This With Love in My Heart

I'm just back from my post-lunch smoke break. In the approximately 10 minutes it took me to smoke my ciggie I was alternately horrified and appalled at the things I saw. So....fellow residents of Bunker Hill, and indeed the world, take these words to heart. I mean them with all the love I can muster:

1. If your bra cuts into you so that you look like you have four breasts instead of the usual two, please go up a cup size. It is not a good look. Ever.

2. White panty hose are only suitable for wear by nurses. Even if you are Olive Oyl, they will make your legs look fat. And another thing...white pantyhose do not work with cream anything.

3. Your socks or pantyhose should not ever be darker then your shoes.

4. While I give you credit for taking the bold step of mixing plaids, floral patterns, and stripes, please . . .

5. There are shoe repair shops out there for a reason. Pesky details like new heels and polishing services are available. If your shoes look like shit, so do you, no matter how well put together the rest of your outfit is.

6. Short-sleeve dress shirts are not a good look any anyone.

7. Camel-toe is not professional looking.

I trust you will all take note of these issues and address them immediately. Thanks for helping to make my day just that much better.

Posted by beth at December 4, 2003 02:13 PM
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