November 03, 2003
Monday's Regular Feature
It's been a couple of weeks, but here we go again:
Taboo:: stinky perfume
Poison:: ivy
1983:: big, hard hair
Tim:: Curry
Groovy:: baby
Italy:: food
Think:: pink
Penthouse:: suite
Shelter:: me
Twinkie:: creamy filling
As always, a bit shout out to Unconscious Mutterings.
November 07, 2003
Digital Evolution
We Atkins' have made a leap in the work of digital recording.
We were long time Dish Network subscribers, with a Dish Recorder. A Dish Recorder is like TiVO, only different. We could set our regular programs to record. And while we could only record one show at a time, with Dish Network we had the East Coast feeds from ABC and CBS so we could still manage to record shows that otherwise conflicted. We couldn't watch live tv while recording something, but we could watch previously recorded shows. And like all these digital recording dealies, we could start watching something while it was still recording. Or we could watch it whenever we damn-well pleased. A beautiful feature of the Dish Recorder was the "flink flink" button (as we called it). Flink forward and it jumped ahead about 30 seconds. You could also flink backward in 10 second (ish) increments. No pesky fast forwarding.
But our Dish Recorder was fickle, as was our service provider. With each update they’d send us, we seemed to lose recording time. This was aggravating enough but periodically our Dish Recorder decided that we didn’t really want the shows we set to record to actually be recorded. You’d go into the family room all ready to hunker down and watch a marathon of all the You Gotta See This’ that you recorded and there wouldn’t be any. Silly you, you didn’t really want to watch that. (OK, I never really want to watch that, but Chuck loves that crap and it would irritate the shit out of him.)
And while the loss of 18 episodes of You Gotta See This not tragic, failure to record NYPD Blue and Ed is. I managed to salvage West Wing, but the love affair was over.
That was last Wednesday.
So last Thursday I called Direct TV. They’re running some special where you get the TiVO box, and up to two additional boxes (we only need one additional box), and the install for like $99. And they could be out Saturday to install. Saturday. Less than 48 hours after I called them for the service it would be installed in my house.
It was with great relish that I called Dish Network to cancel my service on Sunday afternoon.
But here’s the thing with TiVO and Direct TV:
1. No flink flink button. Now we have to fast forward and I admittedly suck at my timing with this.
2. Our TiVO thinks we’re Hispanic. Unlike the Dish Recorder, TiVO records things for you it thinks you might like. I do not know what we watched or recorded that would give TiVO the impression that we’re Spanish speaking, but there you have it. Every evening when I check to see what we have, there are at least five Spanish language programs.
3. I can’t find any of my channels yet. This will just take a bit of time, but for now it kinda sucks.
With the exception of those three issues, the TiVO pretty much rocks. We can record one channel and watch another. Or we can record two channels at once and watch something we’ve already recorded.
You have to love it when your TV watches for you and you watch it at your convenience.
November 10, 2003
Poor Choice?
The bra I chose to wear today is more "recreational" in nature then, shall we say, "supportive". I'm not really sure what I was thinking as I got dressed today.
At least my sweater will disguise my party hats.
A poor choice? I guess that depends who you ask.
He Probably Wishes He Was Lonelier Right About Now
My dear friend Married But Lonely had a little snafu recently. He sent an e-mail to his Cub Scout Troop from his MBL e-mail address. Oopsie.
In the best interests of his privacy, he has password protected his journal, so if you click on that little link over there to the right and get an evil message, do not be alarmed.
MBL will be back soon (we all hope), and you'll once again be able to find him, now with my handy link. No more having to click on referrals from his page anymore, since I'm getting better at this whole htlm/blog thing.
November 11, 2003
It's All About Me
Your SubUrban Housewife has a new feature. Look over there to the right....in the little box called Etc... Learn 99 Things About Me.
November 12, 2003
Got Retro?
I, too, couldn't resist.
You are the seductress pin-up! You are self-
explanatory. You slut!
What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm the seductress pinup. How fab is that?????? And you?
Moving Back In....
My friend MBL is back, up, and running. He's now Moving On. You will find a link to the right.
Welcome back dear.
November 13, 2003
WTF Mate?
A little levity for an otherwise dull Thursday morning.
November 14, 2003
I can't. Can you?
You could go a month without sex, but could you get through a day without a good rationalization?
A Cautionary Tale
Received an e-mail from a friend today. Subject line: Why Women Shouldn't Have On-Line Affairs. Following was this photo:
(Click on the image to make it larger, but I think you might not want to.)
November 16, 2003
November 17, 2003
Techno Woman
First order of business: A big huge thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. It was a good one. I was fetted appropriately and thoroughly. And I will say that it is a very good thing that nothing you eat within five days before and after your birthday has any calories, because otherwise I would have easily gained five pounds.
Secondly: I rock. OK, beyond the fact that we all already knew this, I will now point out why I rock today. And I will give you that these items are small, but for me, huge.
1. I purchased and installed a new keyboard today.
2. I purchased and installed a new mouse today. And not only a mouse, but a totally cool trackball with DirectLaunch buttons. And not only that, but I programmed and labeled the buttons all by myself.
I can hear you all snickering under your collective breaths. But for me this is a giant leap. Cuz the thing is, I don't have to know anything techno-, connection-, or computer-related because my old man is extremely handy at those things and he usually takes care of them for me.
Not very self-sufficient of you Beth....yes, well, I know that.
But knowing that my husband longs to, nay lives to, help me with these things I let him because I know it makes him feel more manly and important. So, in fact by not being able to do these things I am keeping the marital harmony.
Ut oh...next thing you know I'll be cleaning the gutters out by myself.
November 19, 2003
Google This
OK, if you got here by "googling" please let me know what you were really looking for. I'm just a little bit curious.
November 20, 2003
Out of the Loop
I am guessing I'm one of the only people left in America who hasn't seen the Paris Hilton video. Someone please send me a link.
November 21, 2003
The Object of My Desire
Just for the record, I am madly in love with Colin Firth.
As The Driven Snow
OK, so I'm all about a good quiz, and this one is no exception. After seeing it on my regular journal rounds I felt compelled to try it too. Here are my results:
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | ||
| Category | Your Score | Average |
| Self-Lovin' | 46.7% When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself | 65.1% |
| Shamelessness | 47.6% Puts 'em on the glass | 79.3% |
| Sex Drive | 36.8% I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'! | 77.7% |
| Straightness | 7.1% Knows the other body type like a map | 45.1% |
| Gayness | 60.7% Had that experience at camp | 83.3% |
| Fucking Sick | 75.2% Refreshingly normal | 89.9% |
| You are 48.59% pure Average Score: 72.6% | ||
November 24, 2003
Monday's Regular Feature
After a short hiatus, it's back:
Concert:: hall
Sydney:: P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way
Shower:: massage
Patterns:: never
Market:: rate account
Chair:: rocking
London:: Calling
Reception:: wedding
Republican:: spending
Cough:: drop
As always, a big shout out to Unconscious Mutterings.
November 26, 2003
Thanksgiving Diva
At this writing the cranberries are made (from scratch, thank you very much), the cranberry/blueberry pie is cooling (also from scratch), the stuffing is prepped and in the back fridge along with the turkey, just waiting for morning to come.
Husband will be home tonight, more than 12 hours earlier than expected. Yeah!
Tomorrow: roast turkey, make mashed potatoes, make gravy, and rolls.
Maids arrive at 8:00 am. OK, I know they're odius, but at least I won't have to vacuum.
Father is bringing the alcohol.
My sister is bringing the veggies (organic, of course).
I'm soooo ready.
But more about the sister. My sister is 41, single, and though I love her with all my heart, she is the most self-involved person I've ever met. About 18 months ago she decided to consult with a nutritionist who put her on a food program, the rhyme or reason of which still continue to elude me. This "program" involves lots of veggies, grade B maple syrup, and dietary supplements. While she isn't as strict about the "program" anymore, she's all about organic.
Any time you're at her house and she offers you something, it is followed by the phrase, "it's organic." Last week she offered me a piece of chocolate, it's organic.
I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. I eat my share of junk food. Dr. Pepper is my beverage of choice. I live for chocolate. Do you think I give a shit if it's organic? No. Give me a Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar and I'm your slave-girl. I know what I'm getting. Organic chocolate? Is it chocolate or mocolate? I don't think so.
I got my turkey free at Ralphs. It was frozen. It's been thawing in the back fridge. Here's the thing: I fully intend to tell her that I got a fresh, free-range, organic turkey from Whole Foods. I will guarantee you that she will think it's the most fabulous turkey she's ever eaten in her entire "organic" life.
OK, so I'm a Thanksgiving Diva, and a bit of a bitch.
Oh, and Happy Turkey Day everyone.
November 27, 2003
Fairly Typical Fare
It's a naturally occuring virus commonly found in the vagina of a llama.
It's the Master and slave. (Which was apparently said in reference to computer parts but I took the conversation in a whole other direction.)
Two phrases uttered (by my father) within moments of each other during Thanksgiving dinner at my house.