Diary of a SubUrban Housewife

Any Available Penis Will Do

I had a really bad week at work last week. On Wednesday I had a bit of a meltdown (to put it mildly).

I'm fed up with my boss in ways I never imagined possible. So fed up in fact, that I went to his new boss (uber boss) and told him I no longer want to report to my current boss (asshole boss); and could I report to him (uberboss)?

I had some politically correct reasons for why this was simply a splendid idea, and then the conversation degenerated into a bit of a bitching session about all the reasons (with pin-pointed examples, thankyouverymuch) of why asshole boss is a a complete waste of human space.. Alas, my brilliant plan did not come to pass, and in fact, uber boss suggested I speak asshole boss.

So I planned to speak with asshole boss later in the day when I'd regained some composure.

At about 5:00 Wednesday asshole boss asked me if I wanted to talk. He'd clearly had a chat with uber boss. So chat we did. Apparently uberboss told asshole boss all the things I'd said about him (none of which was flattering). Asshole boss attempted to defend himself and his position. I called him on his bullshit. It was corporate-speak, ass covering, and complete bullshit from the get go.

Then I left. I had to regroup because I was thisclose to quitting my job, and with Chuck's impending unemployment looming ever closer, I did have a smidge of sanity left and knew that would not be the best plan.

I fumed all night.

I was still mad when I got to work Thursday morning. I ran into both uberboss and asshole boss together. I grunted in their general direction in response to their inappropriately cheerful good mornings. Good morning's offered like everything was peachy keene.

I left work at about 2:00, and treated myself to an afternoon at the spa. After a scrub and shiatsu I felt human again and ready to face the dread office.

Friday was somewhat better. I still hated asshole boss and uber boss but I had regrouped and was able to face them and my job without wanting/needing to claw someone's eyes out.

Then Saturday morning I wake up and discover that I've started my period. A week early.

Now while I still think my boss is a complete and utter asshole and that uberboss is completely untrustworthy, I have a whole new understanding for why I completely melted down.

You see, this week should be my meltdown week. And my period should arrive the day after my husband comes home, not while he's out of town.

And while there's no disputing that this is a much better schedule (note to uterus: it would have been nice if you'd done this 3 years ago because after this week he doesn't travel for work anymore), it caught me off guard.

So it seems asshole boss bore the brunt of a raging case of PMS. But... like any port in a storm, I suppose, when it comes to PMS, lashing out at any available penis will do.

Posted by beth at August 31, 2004 10:35 PM