At about 8:30 yesterday morning, I found a lump in my right breast.
Breathe
So, to say that yesterday was a difficult day would be one of the understatements of the year. Chuck and I alternately searched the web and found out as much as we possibly could.
And then we spent the childfree (Zoe was at Disneyland) afternoon at the movies--Man of The House and Be Cool, if you must know.
But it was a stressful day. I would be OK for a while and then I would go to places you never really want to go. The best of these places was me bald. And it went downhill from there.
Yes, I obsessed.
And I cried.
And my husband and I talked.
And he was supportive.
And I cried and worried some more.
Chuck kept telling me to call someone and talk. But I didn't want to. Talking about it gave it a voice. I could talk about it with him, but it stopped there.
And at 8:00 this morning I called my OB/GYN. They would fit me in at 1:00 this afternoon. Chuck promised he would go with me.
I went to work. I kept busy. And I left at 12:15.
The one hour we had to wait in the waiting room was, by far, the longest in a very long 24 hours. We finally went into the room. The doctor -- who delivered Zoe almost exactly 9 years ago today -- came in. He was calm.
Me...not so much.
We talked. He asked me all the questions my research told me he should ask. He felt. My husband watched another man grope my breast today.
He said it feels like a cyst. (And these types of cysts run in my family.)
OK, I didn't cry right that minute but wanted to.
It feels different from cancer apparently. He's felt both. He referred me for a mammogram, and told me I should have done as soon as possible.
So I'm having a mammogram on Thursday afternoon. I am pleased to report that my last mammogram is less than a year old, so there will be a good comparison.
I haven't been given a clean bill of health yet, but I hope, and more importantly today really believe I will, on Thursday afternoon.
Posted by beth at March 7, 2005 10:21 PMI know it can be scary. I watched a friend go through the uncertainty. Regardless of the news keep your chin up and and think positive. There are a lot of things they can do now. Hopefully yours will be a cyst and just be a scare. Will keep you in our prayers. Thanks for the blog.
Posted by: a reader at March 7, 2005 11:55 PMLooking forward to hearing good news after Thursday! YIKES -- having been through a similar experience the only thing I can offer is the quiet understanding of the situation. Sending you LOTS of support!
Posted by: zahava at March 7, 2005 11:55 PMI'm hoping for the best, but please update us as soon as you're able.
Let's all get together again soon!
Posted by: Jim at March 8, 2005 07:54 AMWell, it sounds like you have a good chance of getting good news, but I understand that you won't feel settled until after it's over. I hope it all goes well for you and you can get back normal.
Posted by: Stan at March 8, 2005 09:20 AMsending good mojo from the promised land.
Posted by: David at March 8, 2005 10:54 AMI hope it turns out okay. When I was in highschool, many moons ago, I had a cyst in my breast, they removed it, and everything has been fine since. I hope that's all it is for you too!
Prayers for you from Texas!
Many, many good health vibes and mojo being sent your way, Beth. I'm sure you and your doctor are right and it's a cyst, but I know that doesn't make it any less scary.
*hugs*
My heart has stopped for you. You must feel like you are running through jello. Positive thoughts do wonders, so please try to keep good energy running through your body.
I'm sending all the warmest, most positive energy I can muster your way.
Posted by: Kris at March 10, 2005 09:57 AM