The customer support department at the company I used to work for provides what they call "award-winning customer support." What they don't tell you is what the award they won was. My advice to all users at the sites I worked with was "Don't call them -- ever" because I knew that it had to be a "Worst Possible Performance" award. Really, they were a gang of halfwits. I know everyone always says that about whatever customer support they're dealing with, but these people really were stupid. If you looked up "stupid" in the dictionary, there'd be a space for a picture of them but instead of the picture there would be a notice saying that the picture didn't come out because they didn't take the lens cap off the camera. They were dmub!
I've ranted about them here before. Read about my love of them here, here, here, here, here and here.
I bring this up because I got a call today from the Santa Barbara site I converted to the software back in February. They had a problem with pulling a report that customer support just couldn't solve after multiple calls, and customer support's final diagnosis was that "Your computer must be broken." Seriously, that's what they told her. The software is working fine in every way but one, so the computer is broken. Incredible.
So I helped her out. Now, bear in mind that I haven't seen the software in nearly five months -- I left the company 3.5 months ago and I basically slacked my way through my last month there literally without doing any work at all. So it's been awhile, it's not like I'm fresh on using it.
It took me two minutes to get her what she needed. And about 90 seconds of that was me talking myself through the steps to help me remember what the screens looked like.
I think that deserves an award.
In related news, my voicemail there is still up with my last message. Give it a listen at (949) 425-3344.
Posted by Chuck at January 19, 2005 03:11 PMhaha! I now know what Chuck's voice sounds like.
If you had known that that message would stay up so long, I'm certain you would have done something even kookier.
I actually tried leaving you a message and was completely speechless with no idea what to say! So please forgive my utterly lame-ass message.
Posted by: Jim at January 19, 2005 03:58 PMYou've got to put that in a letter to the CEO of the company. And cc it to the Better Business Bureau, if they're a member.
Posted by: Lesley at January 19, 2005 07:25 PMI just left a little message. Any idea if someone will pick up those messages, Chuck?
BTW, very well done. And very nice of you to help her so long after you'd left. You're a better person than I.
Posted by: Carol at January 20, 2005 10:47 AMWell, I can apparently remember the minutest of details about the old software and how to pull obscure reports from it ... but I can't remember how to pick up my voicemails. I'm working on finding out how to do it, but there's a good chance I may never hear those messages. I'll just assume you all said fabulous things and were the wittiest you will ever be.
Posted by: Chuck at January 20, 2005 11:24 PMIf I were the wittiest I will ever be on that message, then I might as well never speak or write again. Because I wasn't even close to witty.
Posted by: Carol at January 21, 2005 03:06 PM