The Haves vs The Have Nots
Posted in Neutral on Mar 18th, 2009
I went out for a late night ride along Pacific Coast Highway tonight, down through Malibu and up to the Ventura County line. Having a bad night, needed to get out and clear my head. Just lost my job, no prospects in sight, don’t know how I’m going to cover the mortgage next month, not getting along with the wife, thinking of putting the bike up for sale to cover some bills, feeling like hammered shit… I needed a night ride.
These night rides usually help me feel better about whatever’s bugging me. Tonight, not so much. My problems are stronger than cool, night air in my face, too sinister for the rumble of the exhaust, too big for my helmet to hold. Tonight I rode and rode and rode and came home feeling spent.
On previous night rides like this one I look at the lights in the windows of the houses I pass in Malibu, the buttery yellow, warm, secure houselights, and I feel sorry for the people who live there, people who I imagine think they have it all, think that living there along the moneyed edge of high-end real estate means they’ve made it to the pinnacle of success. Normally I feel a little bit superior to them because while I may not have the million dollar ocean view and the German luxury car in the driveway and the fat bank account and the smug condescension of looking down (literally) on the “little people” on the highway below, I have something they don’t: freedom, wind, the visceral thrill of riding along the ocean at night. I who have little think of them as the Have Nots because what little I have trumps their tame possessions.
Tonight… Tonight, I felt like I’m the Have Not.
