Monday - November 15, 1999


That's a sharps container, in case you didn't know. You dispose of sharp things in it. Needles, specifically. You generally only find these in hospitals and in medical and dental offices, but on rare occasion they're needed in the family home. While you'd be correct in thinking these might come in handy in the homes of heroin addicts, junkies are usually too busy "recycling" their needles to dispose of them properly. No, it's another kind of home that finds these lovely plastic containers gracing their tile-lined rooms -- homes where they're trying to have babies.

Yes, folks, it's "Stab your wife in the ass" time around here again. Boy howdy, we're havin' fun! Every night Beth drops trou for me and I unsheath the needle filled with fertility juice and stab her in the butt with it.  Her doc has been kind enough to draw a circle on each cheek for me so I know where to aim, so all I really have to do is keep track of which circle on her ass I aimed at last night.  Beth, on the other hand, has to endure me stabbing her in the ass every night while I make bad jokes about it.  Remember Beth's dart incident?  I actually drew blood that time.  Plus, she has to endure having target circles drawn on her ass.

But all complaining aside, things are looking up this time around ... a little.  I had me another sperm count done awhile back and it looks like quitting smoking has made a significant difference.  I've been off the smokes for 3 1/2 months now and my spermies are swimming like...  Well, maybe not like Olympic champions, but at least they're acting like they can do more than dogpaddle now.  Dare I say they can do a breaststroke?  No, wait, that's my job as warm-up for them to do theirs.  Anyway, Beth's doctor was apparently quite impressed with my new numbers, asking Beth "What did you do to him???"

Tomorrow's going to be Go-Time apparently; my opportunity yet again to spank my monkey with deliberate aim into a small plastic cup so they can baste Beth's uterus with the product. It'll be this entry relived all over again one more time. Maybe I'll get another comedy nomination for it!

I'm road-testing a new design here. Whaddaya think?

It's not ready-for-primetime yet, but I felt like putting an entry up. And why not -- I've been working on this thing off and on for about 5 days now. I'm posting it not so much so you can read it, but so that I can quit working on it. This whole "Type for 10 minutes and get bored with it" thing is getting, well, boring.

You'd think it'd be ... better ... longer ... something after 5 days of work, wouldn't you?

This will be the Deep Thoughts corner over here. Maybe. Or maybe I'll stick quotes or inspirational messages in here. Or, hell, maybe banner ads. I dunno yet.

For now, let's just call it the Maybe corner.

I have no idea what to put here. And I really hate that navigation box down there on the bottom.

It's a work in progress. Deal with it.

Copyright 1999
Chuck Atkins