The Answers
or
Who Knew?

October 6, 1999

Today is Sister #1's birthday. Happy birthday to you. We exchanged gifts when she was here visiting in August--our spa days were our gifts to each other. Zoe and I called her this morning. She hadn't gotten my card yet. Damn. I need to be better with my timing for this international mail stuff. I'm a shitty human being.

I wish I was with my sis on her b-day. Zoe wanted to know why we weren't going to see her for her party. It made me sad. It made my sister sad too.

I'm really proud of my sister. She had the guts to pack it up and move away, something I can't seem to get myself to do--at least not permanently. She's smart. She's very beautiful. And even though she thinks that sometimes she doesn't quite have it together, she really does. (That's her on the left.)

Here are my pithy (or not) answers:

1. Would you take the fall for a crime committed by a sibling or parent?
No. Sister #2 has been in jail. Two times. Both for traffic violations. I have never had the urge to switch places or take responsibility.

2. What's your favorite picnic food?
Cold, home made, really delicious, not greasy, fried chicken. Maybe some potato salad. Definitely watermelon.

3. What television show did you like that got canceled way too soon?
It seems I have a knack for picking stuff no one else likes. I liked Relativity. That got bumped around and then finally canceled. That's my most recent recollection though I'm certain there were dozens of others.

4. Ever get caught picking your nose?
Well, no one has ever said: ooooh Beth, but I'm certain someone has seen me do it. Probably in the car.

5. By which school picture are you most embarrassed?
My second grade school picture, though at the time I thought I was the height of fashion. It was 1967. One of the big fashion rages of the day were high-waisted bell bottom pants. I got some, to wear for my school picture. They were bright red plaid (need I say more).

6. What was your first computer?
Do those Atari games count? If so then that. If not, then it was a 286 IBM clone.

7. What are you completely and irrationally stubborn about?
Well, the answer to this one could be a whole entry in itself. I'm pretty stubborn and have certainly been known to be less than rational at times.

8. You're offered the political appointment of your choosing. What job do you take?
I would love to be a foreign ambassador in some glamorous embassy somewhere in Europe. When I was young I thought about going into the foreign service with the hopes that I'd get some cushy diplomatic appointment. The problem is, sometimes I'm not very diplomatic.

9. How would you like to die?
Happy. In my sleep. Old. Still mentally together.

10. You get to plan your own funeral. Who speaks? Who sings? How do you get sent off?
I would like to be cremated. I would like my ashes to be scattered in the Mediterranean off the coast of Cadaques, Spain. I would like my family and friends to be there. I would like it to be a happy occasion. A celebration of a full life that was well spent. I would like my family to speak. I would like to have the Gipsy Kings being played over a loud speaker as my ashes waft through the air and land in the sea.

11. You and a date finish an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant and discover the waiter has charged you for only one lobster. Do you a) point out the mistake. b) keep quiet and leave a huge tip. c) quickly pay the tab and leave.
Definitely a: point out the mistake. Not worth the withdrawal in the karmic bank.

12. To whom are you most likely to lend money? a relative, a friend, a business partner, or the author of this survey.
Definitely the author of this survey.

13. Ever changed your website just so you could join a ring?
No.

14. Ever written on a special topic, just so you could qualify for a web award?
No.

15. Ever submitted your own site for a web award?
No, but I asked my husband to nominate me.

16. Ever offered a web award of your own conception?
No.

17. What's your favorite flavor of toaster pastry?
Blueberry frosted Pop Tarts.

18. Ever paid one credit card with another one?
No.

19. Ever been hoopsnaked by a home equity loan ad?
No.

20. To what magazines do you currently subscribe?
In Style, LA, and Parenting. I think I recently subscribed to three more but I can't think of what they are.

21. What's your guilty pleasure?
Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream with lots of chocolate sprinkles on it.

22. What do you do that you do not enjoy simply for appearance sake?
I'm nice to many of my coworkers. I think a lot of them are complete idiots.

23. Have you ever taken out a singles ad?
No. But I love to read them.

24. Have you ever lied in a singles ad?
No. But anyone who had ever written one has, I'm sure of that.

25. When was the last time you bounced a check?
About 5 months ago. My mortgage company had not received my payment so I sent in another via express mail. Both checks arrived and they were both deposited. Oy. Had to a lot of juggling to cover both house payments and the bills I'd paid. I've since switched to automatic payment.

26. Have you ever camped out for concert tickets? If so, for which concert?
No.

27. What's the most embarrassing name ever given to you by a significant other?
Woobiedoobiekanoobie.

28. Ever played truth or dare in an effort to get into someone's pants?
No, but I'm certainly not above it.

29. Did you have sex in high school?
Yes. I lost my virginity at 14.

30. What's your favorite drinking game?
Spoons.

31. What bad habit do you have that no one is supposed to know about?
Wouldn't posting that here defeat the purpose of no one knowing about it?

32. Are you completely honest in situations where your name isn't used?
I am now. I didn't used to be. In college I would sometimes go out with my best friend and we'd use fake names and make up stories about who we were, what we did, where we came from, and that sort of thing.

33. Ever urinated in public?
Does camping count? If so, then yes. It's harder for women to do that then men. Can't just whip it out.

34. Which celebrity would you most like to see drop off the face of the Earth?
Kathie Lee Gifford. I don't see the point of her.

35. Which celebrity would you most like to bring back from the dead?
Princess Diana. OK, she's not a celebrity in the Hollywood sense, but she sort of is. OK, Diana watching used to be my guilty pleasure. I thought she was divine. How much respect have you all lost for me?

36. If you found out who really killed JFK, who would you tell first?
Chuck.

37. What's your favorite comic strip?
Baby Blues.

38. What was the last thing you purchased at Wal-hyphen-Mart? When was that?
An iron. It was about 8 months ago. I threw it out last night because it leaked. I bought a new one at Costco last Friday.

39. If you were afforded the opportunity to sleep with one of your friends, who would it be?
Tough one. Most all of my male friends are gay. So, in lieu of the response to this question, I'll answer this one: If I was afforded the opportunity to sleep with any man who would it be? Then I'd have two answers: George Clooney or Anthony Edwards.

40. To what superstition do you most adhere?
Broken mirror: seven years of bad luck.

41. Elevators or escalators?
Elevators.

42. How many justices of the U.S. Supreme Court can you name? No cheating (there are nine).
Souter, Bader Ginsburg, Thomas, Day O'Connor, Kennedy, Rhenquist, and Scalia. 7 out of 9. No cheating.

43. What is the name of your congressman? (or similar government representative for those living outside the US and not in some fascist country that doesn't have a representational government).
Barbara Boxer

44. What are you a big old geek about?
My daughter. I'm absolutely mad about her. And my husband too.

45. Who makes you laugh?
My husband.

46. Have you ever been in a band? If so, what was it called?
No. I have always wanted to but I can barely play the radio, much less sing.

47. Herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore?
Omnivore. I'll try just about anything once.

48. When playing tic tac toe, which square do you always fill in first? Do you prefer "X" or "O"?
X. Top left corner.

49. Does the time 4:20 have any significance for you?
No. Am I missing something?

50. What was the biggest prize you ever won?
One summer when I was about 16 we went to the San Diego County Fair. I was unstoppable. I won about 8 of those large stuff animals. Other then that, not much of anything.

Until next time. . .