20 Answers
or
More Stuff You Never Wanted to Know About Me

October 17, 1999

OK, so since my husband is the author of this one, I'm bound by my marital vows to answer. More interesting shit you didn't want to know about me:

1. The world is made up of two kinds of people: those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. What kind of person are you?
Don't.

2. Have you ever had sex in a car?
Yes, only once. It was New Years Eve, 1990. I was living in Spain. Some time just before the sun was rising, my boyfriend Jean Pierre and I, drove to Cap du Creus, the easternmost point of Spain. We were going to watch the sun rise over a new decade (or something). One thing turned into another and we found ourselves having sex in the front seat of his Seat (like a Fiat, only smaller). Bucket seats, gear shift in-between us. It wasn't comfortable. I ended up ruining my favorite white shirt by getting red lipstick all over it. It was worth it.

3. Beer or Michelob?
Stoli rocks, with a twist.

4. Michelob or Lisa Loeb?
Lisa, I guess. I think this falls into the category of lesser of two evils.

5. What was your happiest moment?
The day my daughter was born. For a few reasons. First, I was glad it was over. I had been in labor for 96 hours. Second, and obvious, she was finally here, with me.

6. Your saddest?
There are two that come to mind immediately. First is the day we had to put my beloved cat, Boris, to sleep. He'd been sick with some unknown lung ailment just exactly a year before. About $2500, twice daily injections of some sort of steroid, and a month later he seemed to make a full recovery. The following October, 1996, he starting having trouble breathing. Chuck took him to the vet for what we thought was going to be another chunk of change and shots. He had almost 0 lung capacity left. We had no choice. Chuck paged me. I was at the dentist in Beverly Hills. I had to get to the vet in Tarzana. Totally across town. It was rush hour. I got there just in time to give him one last hug before they gave him the green juice. The second is the day I miscarried. June 2, 1997.

7. Did the Tooth Fairy ever bring you money?
Yes, quarters.

8. What world-changing event occurred on October 29, 1962?
Chuck's birthday. OK, I have an unfair advantage on this one.

9. When did you learn the truth about Santa Claus?
I'm Jewish so I always knew. I did start celebrating Christmas when I was about 12. My father's girlfriend at the time, who ended up being wife #2, and ex-wife #2, is Protestant. We celebrated with her and her family. I knew she and my dad were behind the gifts though.

10. What was your first paying job?
Bussing tables at a diner in East Hampton for less than minimum wage. I was about 14.

11. Mighty Mouse or Underdog?
Underdog.

12. What's your favorite smell? What memory does it evoke?
I have an extremely acute sense of smell--especially for a smoker. I love the smell of fresh cut grass. I reminds me of when I was a kid and we used to go to the country for weekends and summer. Also, the smell of the air, right after it rains. And the smell of autumn.

13. Have you ever lied on a resume or job application?
No.

14. Have you ever played with a Ouija board?
Yes, though I prefer the Magic 8 Ball.

15. How much sleep do you need each night? How much do you get?
I need about 8 hours. I get about 6-7 normally, and can function. Lately it's been a lot less.

16. Morning wake-up with a clock radio: music, beeping, or music with beeping?
Music with beeping. Doesn't seem to matter though. I still don't get up. Thank god for snooze buttons.

17. Admit it: you know all the songs from Grease, don't you?
In fact, I don't.

18. Do you, uh, Yahoo?
When I have no other choice.

19. Call The Booth right now: (760) 733-9969. (Go on, ya big cheapskate, do it. It'll cost you, what, about a dollar, tops?) Did anyone answer?
Line's busy.

20. You're MacGyver. You have a stick of gum, two marbles, a skateboard wheel and a bong, and you're trapped in an elevator with a pregnant woman in labor. Now what?
Use the emergency phone to call for assistance. (OK, I have an unfair advantage as Chuck and I discussed this, and frankly all the other, questions in advance.)

Until next time. . .