Remember the other day when I wrote about Dory’s untimely demise? Well, we went out the next day and got Dory II (Cruise Control) … and Dory II joined Dory in that Great Aquarium in the Sky two days later. I caught a crab snacking on her, too, in the morning.

Then Pinky went fins-up in the night and I found a crab munching on her one morning.

Then the very next day Flamey checked out and I literally had to wrestle her masticated body away from a very aggressive crab.

I’ll tell ya, those crabs are eating like kings.

I think the problem is ich, which is a fairly common fish disease that I think Dory I brought into the tank with her and Dory II then supported by bringing in reinforcements. Both Pinky and Flamey (shut up — Zoe named them) were showing symptoms of it before they bought the fish farm, and now two of my remaining three fish are acting a little ich-y.

I’m ready for the carnage to end. I’m asking Death to take a vacation from my fish tank.

I’m running out of euphemisms for “the fish died”!