I was tempted to title this entry M is for Motherfucking Fairbanks but this is a family website and I wanted to keep it clean for the kiddies.

So, yeah, fucking Fairbanks. It’s 7:35 pm local time and I’m still at the office. I’m the only person still at the office because all the local staff went home already, leaving me with a steaming pile of shit in my lap and leaving me to my own devices to fix it. Because, you know, I’m The Conversion Guy, so I must know how their shit works around here. But I don’t.

One of the computers here wouldn’t autoload tomorrow’s traffic logs like it’s supposed to so I called tech support (not my company’s support because it wasn’t our software locking up). He hemmed and hawed for awhile and finally proclaimed that everything was set up right and should be working. I brought him back to earth by pointing out that, in fact, it wasn’t, which was why I called him in the first fucking place. Moron. So he suggests that, hey, rebooting it will probably work. So I did.

Big fucking mistake.

What happens when you reboot a computer? It restarts, and then you have to log in to it. What happens if you don’t have the login information? You’re stuck. Guess who’s stuck.

But, hey Chuck, call the station’s IT guy, he can help you! He knows you’re doing a major software conversion to his station’s computers and that things are likely to go wrong, so he’s probably hanging by the phone, waiting eagerly for your call.

Wrong. Stupid is not waiting for my call. Stupid is on vacation somewhere in the Alaskan outback. Nobody knows where he is, nobody expects to hear from him for another 8 days, and he isn’t answering his satellite phone. Because, you know, he’s on vacation. During a major software conversion that’s been progressing for 3 months.

Fuck it, I don’t care. If you can’t be bothered to keep your own shit straight, then neither can I.

I’m getting laid off in three months and my company can’t afford to lose me, and even if they decide they really can afford to lose me all that means is that I’m out of a job 90 days early. Fuck it.

F isn’t for Fairbanks. It’s for Fuck You, Fairbanks.