Since getting certified as a scuba diver last month, my efforts to get back into the water have been repeatedly stymied. I’m starting to get a little cranky about it. (“A little?” is what Beth will say upon reading this.)

The weekend before I left for Fairbanks I learned there was an opening on a local boat (the Sea Bass, in case you care) for a Saturday dive trip. I paid $85 for the open spot, then paid my local dive shop $40 to rent gear for the trip (wet suit, BCD, regulator/gauges/octopus, tank & weights). That night I discovered a problem with the gear that made using it dangerous. I got up at 4:30 the next morning anyway and arrived at the boat at 6 am, hoping someone there would have a way of fixing it. No one did. I went home.

Score: 1 diving opportunity gone.

Last Monday, my instructor called me to say there was an opening on a 3-day dive trip this weekend she knew I really wanted to go on (on the Vision, in case you care). She had bypassed the waiting list to call me first, and she offered me free rental gear to make up for my problem last time out, then when I hesitated before saying “yes” she knocked $100 off the price. After talking it over with Beth I decided that I had to pass no matter how much it hurt to do so — family and $$$ considerations won out. We decided to do a family weekend at Catalina Island instead, where I’d be able to get some diving in and hang with the wife and daughter.

Score: 2 diving opportunities gone.

Friday I went to the shop to pick up rental gear for our Saturday trip to Catalina and discovered that A) the shuttle boats to Catalina were totally sold out for Saturday and B) the Vision had gone out with two openings. You can only imagine my frustration at A and my pain at B.

I decided to take the gear anyway and hope that something would open up on a Catalina shuttle. That night I worked the phones for an hour until I found one opening. Beth and Zoe wouldn’t be able to go but at least I’d get to go diving, and it wasn’t the shuttle my friends were going on but at least I could meet them there.

Saturday morning I got up at 4:30 am and found that the vision in my left eye was … impaired.

Wait. Backstory: I have glaucoma. I was diagnosed with it probably 10 years ago and I’ve been on medication for it ever since — I will be for life. I’m quite young to have glaucoma and I’m lucky we caught it when we did and so far it has been completely under control. Okay, resume the story again…

Okay, so my left eye was acting wacky. The vision was cloudy, hazy, and there were halos around bright lights. Situation: ungood. With my condition, I have to be worried about this. If it’s increased pressure in the eye I could end up blind in that eye really quickly. I really had no choice: I had to scrub my plans to go diving and see a doctor instead.

Score: 3 diving opportunities gone.

The eye thing turned out to be … we don’t know. My vision had cleared by the time I was seen by a doctor at the ER (and that’s another story of incompetence in itself), and when I had a full exam by my optometrist later in the day she couldn’t see anything wrong. It was all a big “Hmmm…”

I’m really starting to wonder if this whole diving thing is cursed for me. I keep making plans that fall apart, and I keep spending money and never get near the water. This isn’t at all what I had in mind when I signed up for my classes.

I just want to violate all the laws of nature and breathe underwater. Is that so wrong?