No Parking
Dear owner of the BMW 740i who parked thisclose to me in the mall parking lot today:
Gee, I’m awfully sorry about your passenger side door. I accidentally slammed it with my door — hard — several times — really hard — as I leaned out my driver window to put the note on your windshield. I normally would have stood next to your car to place the note but you were parked so close to the driver side of my truck that I couldn’t squeeze in between our cars, let alone open my door to get in if I’d been able to get to it. (I actually had to get in on my passenger side.) I’m also sorry for my poor penmanship in the note; I know it can be difficult to read my chicken scratches, so I’ll reproduce the note here for your convenience:
“You’re lucky I didn’t key your car, you prick. You shouldn’t park so close to beat-up cars — we just don’t care about dents. Obviously. Have a nice day…”
I hope there’s no hard feelings on your end. I know I feel better.
I prefer to go the sunscreen route. I always have a bottle or three of some kind of sunscreen in the car (what with my advancing neckline), so I generally share my displeasure with bad parking lot manners by shmearing the windshield with an oily mess.
Trust me…only a good carwash can get that crap off the glass.
Hey, I like that! I’m going to be using that idea … and mine.
I’ve always been a note leaver myself (usually phrased, “Have consideration, you fucking dickhead!” or something similar), but I do like the sunscreen idea. Along with a note, though, so there can be no doubt…