Ow.

Also: Ow.

And lest we forget: Motherfucking OW!

When I returned from a day of scuba diving yesterday (yes, it was great, thanks for asking), I noticed that a long-time problem tooth was acting a little twitchy. I had a root canal done on it recently and it’s been a little sensitive every since. So having it hurt after chomping down on a regulator mouthpiece all day seemed sort of understandable … if you can get to a state of mind where you can accept that chronic tooth pain is acceptable. I took two Advil and went to bed.

Waking up this morning, it was still twitchy. Even more so, actually. But since I grind my teeth at night I figured having it hurt after chomping down on nothing all night long seemed sort of understandable … if you can get to a state of mind blah blah blah. So I took three Advil and carried on.

Tonight, Zoe wanted to go out for barbeque for dinner. I considered it and realized that all that chewing was gonna friggin’ hurt and that my tooth wasn’t up to it and I had to say no. We had Chinese instead. With soft, chewable noodles and rice.

At that point I was forced to admit to myself that maybe, just maybe, I have a dental problem that requires a dentist’s attention. So I calculated when I can most reasonably get in to see my dentist. The weekend is right out, obviously, and I have to be in the office Monday through Thursday, so I figured I’d do it next Friday. I asked myself: Will my tooth wait seven days for me? Sure it will. And I took four Advil and went to watch TV.

Now it’s about four hours later and I’m about to go take a handful of Advil. I can feel a little bump forming way up at the top of my gumline on the root of the tooth and I know from past experience that it’s an abscess. And it hurts. A lot. And it’s going to hurt more.

So now I’m asking myself: Will my tooth wait until Monday for me so I can try to get an appointment with my dentist after work? And I think it’s a stupid question. The better question is: Will my tooth wait until morning for me to try to get an emergency appointment tomorrow?

But the real question is: Where’s the damned Vicodin that was left over after I had the stupid root canal done that I’m going to have to have re-done?