Shamelessly stolen from Gavin. Because why not?

3 THINGS…

…I am wearing right now

1. Peace Scuba T-shirt
2. 8 gauge silver 1/2″ CBR, right ear
3. New Balance crosstrainers

…on my desk

1. 3-week old stack of unopened mail
2. 2 quarters, a nickel, and 10 pennies
3. A paintball gun I’ve been planning to eBay for more than a year

…I want to do before I die

1. Sell a big budget script
2. Learn to fly
3. Watch Zoe fall in love

…good things about my personality

1. Comedy, baby!
2. Sarcastic
3. Trustworthy

…bad things about my personality

1. Sarcastic
2. Curmudgeon
3. Anger issues

…I like about my body

1. All the parts are there
2. All the parts work
3. All the parts are mine

…I don’t like about my body

1. Certain parts aren’t as hairy as they used to be
2. Certain parts are hairer than they used to be
3. Certain parts are larger than they used to be

…most people don’t know about me

1. I’m an ordained minister
2. I ran away from home at age 7 with a suitcase full of socks
3. I was banned by the court from entering the city of Burbank, CA

…I say the most

1. Are you all right?
2. Yo.
3. Alllllll righty then!

…I want to go to

1. Greece
2. Cozumel
3. Bed with Charlize Theron

…names that I go by

1. Chuck
2. Keith
3. Asshole

…screen names I have had

1. Opus
2. CHUD
3. Wordsmith