Backstory: Zoe had a little mid-playground collision with another kid at school the other day and now she’s sporting a nice purple goose-egg right smack in the middle of her forehead.

Real story: Zoe and I are at the supermarket…

Wait. Sidestory: At the supermarket, Zoe asks if she can buy a giant Hershey’s bar. No way, I said, you’ve got about 10 pounds of Halloween candy at home! And she gets a little sheepish and tells me that it’s not for her, it’s for “someone else” and she’s embarrassed to tell me who. My tingly Daddy senses scream “BOY!!!!” And later, when she’s having me help her pick out a greeting card to go with it, I am proven right: it’s for her “new friend,” a boy in the 5th grade. There are so many thing wrong with this turn of events, not the least of which are that 1) It’s a BOY!!!!!, 2) it’s for an OLDER BOY!!!, 3) she’s giving him chocolate, 4) she has me picking out a card for him, and 5) I’m paying for it all. This is so Not Good I can’t even tell you.

Anyway. Back to Real Story: Zoe and I are in the checkout line and I notice how dirty her face is and say something to her about it, that she’s filthy and we need to throw her in the shower when we get home for her weekly hose-down. And I noticed the woman in front of us sort of half-cocking her head to eavesdrop on us, and then she snuck a surreptitious glance at Zoe, followed by a disapproving scowl to herself at just how filthy Zoe was.

So then I said even louder: “And, wow, look how big and purple the lump on your forehead is. Does it still hurt? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hit you so hard, Peanut. Daddy gets mad sometimes but you know he doesn’t mean it.”

I thought the snoopy ol’ biddy was gonna stroke out right in front of me. Ha.

And hey, look at the pretty Love Ride icon. Lots of people have donated and there’s a growing list of folks who plan to with their next paycheck. Don’t be left out!