I am the #7 result right now when you search MSN for “better sex ever.” That’s right, I’m your #7 authority when it comes to better sex ever. Not 8, not 9. Seven, bitches. Se. Ven.

I must quote two lines from my close personal friend Kid Rock:

You can’t cap with the master, son
So sit your ass down before I blast ya one

and

They say I’m cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin’ motherfucker if ya back it up

Okay, fine, it’s only MSN, not Google. And it’s only #7. But, hey, it’s something.

I’m #7, I (insert verb here) harder.