GraceDavis is evil. There, I said it. It’s out there now and I’m not taking it back: GraceDavis is evil.

First she does the whole giving Dr. Laura nightmares thing. Uncool, truly. Then she does the whole donate to Beth’s cancer walk by trolling trolls for comments and giving a dollar for each comment trolled thing. Devilish. And shall we talk about the whole I have a cute snuggly little Jack Russell Terrier puppy named Malcolm and I post endless pictures of him and blog endlessly about him and make Beth want one too thing? Since it’s evil incarnate, yes, I think I should.

So, yeah, Malcolm. All the time with the Malcolm. MalcolmMalcolmMalcolm! And the pictures. PicturesPicturesPictures! Of MalcolmMalcolmMalcolm! And the comments, both in her own blog and in Beth’s, about how Beth should get a Jack Russell puppy too, and that I’m a bastard for not allowing it. She’s been relentless about it and believe me, we have felt the pressure in Casa Atkins over it, what with Beth and Zoe going to bed in tears each night and me being all hot and sweaty and worn out from beating them with my steel-tipped cat-o-nine tails while I roar “No! No more fucking animals in this house! No, not even a cute snuggly little Jack Russell Terrier puppy like the one evil GraceDavis has!!! I am lord and master and I say NOOOOO!!!!”

Well. I’m not made of stone. I have a heart, flinty and small though it may be. I can be nice. Sometimes.

So Beth and I have our 10th wedding anniversary coming up in about week. And I thought about it and decided that bowing to the Jack Russell Terrier fever would be something that would make Beth very happy, and I thought that making her very happy would be a nice anniversary gift. So I went out looking for a Jack Russell Terrier today so I could give it to Beth for our anniversary. Besides, all the anniversary gift tables say Jack Russell Terrier is the appropriate gift for the 10th anniversary. Sure, you just have to read between the “tin/aluminum” traditional gift and “diamond jewelry” modern gift lines.

But. No way in hell am I paying breeder prices for a dog Beth plans to carry around in her purse. Hell no. Those things go for $400 or $500. (And that’s just her purses!) Heeeellllll no. So I went looking for one at the pound. And look who I found:

Meet Mimi. She’s 8 months old, wee, cute, and she came up available for adoption today (Friday) — sort of.

She’s at the Burbank Animal Shelter right now where, like most animal shelters, they have a policy of holding animals for about a week before putting them up for adoption in order to give owners who lost them time to find them and take them back home. If nobody claims them during that time, then they’re fair game for anyone who wants them. The Burbank shelter takes that policy a step further and gives the original “finder” of the animal — whoever brought the animal in — first dibs on the day that week is up, if they want it. This dog’s finder wanted first dibs, which meant they had to show up today to take her. But they never showed up. So tomorrow she goes up for whoever wants her: us.

And about 40 other people, too, apparently.

This little pup is very popular, the pound people tell me. People have been asking after her by the dozens every day she’s been in, and people were calling them today to make sure the finder hadn’t shown up and that she was still available. So whoever’s there first thing tomorrow, when they open at 10 am, those people will have a shot at adopting her. They’re expecting quite a crowd, they said. If that happens, they’re going to basically draw names out of a hat for her. If you’re there at 10 your name goes in the hat, and then whoever’s name comes out gets to take the pup home.

So I’ll be there in the morning, along with the rest of this little pup’s fan club. And in a pup-sized measure of irony I, the guy who has been vehemently fighting against getting a Jack Russell Terrier puppy, I’ll be hoping I get lucky and win the dog I said I didn’t want.

Stop laughing, Grace.