Greetings from yet another Hampton Inn & Suites hotel, this time in Calgary, AB in the Great White North, aka Canadia. What’s it look like in Calgary, you say? Just like this:

You can’t see it in the picture, but just out of frame on the right there’s a McDonald’s. Now, I don’t know if it’s just the McD’s I stopped at on the way here from the airport or if it’s all Canadian McD’s, but the one I went to didn’t have a Quarter Pounder with Cheese on the menu. WTF is up with that? No QP? Why, it’s unAmerican! I let them get away with it because this is Canadia, but I’ll be investigating this matter further. I see a trip through the parking lot in my near future. I’ll report back later.

And how’s the room? Remarkably similar to this:

And you can’t really see it in this picture, but just out of frame on the left is a wall, and if you put your nose right up against and look really really hard, you can almost see through it. Because the walls here are tissue-paper thin.

Which means I can hear everything my neighbors are doing (watching Still Standing on the TV right now, volume up high– shoot me now, please). And my neighbor is here with friends who are staying in rooms across the hall. And they’re all REALLY REALLY LOUD. And they keep calling each other on the phone to ask “WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? HAHAHAHAHA! I’M WATCHING THAT TOO!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” And they keep shouting across the hall to each other “CALL ME ON THE PHONE!!!! NO, YOU CALL ME!!!! HANG ON, I THINK BRETT’S CALLING ME NOW!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

Grown men. Thrilled to the gills at staying in a hotel. I remember when staying in a hotel was that exciting to me. I was six.

Edit: Canadian McDonalds’ do carry the Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Whew. And my neighbors are still loud and obnoxious.