Just in case anyone’s been looking, someone is offering “over 300 used wine corks for the taking” over on Craigslist LA.

Don’t thank me — I’m here to help.

Gmail has finally seen fit to give me some invitations to pass out, so I guess I’ll, uh, pass them out. I have three up for grabs — post a comment if you want one. If all of my readers ask for one, I figure that’ll leave me with at least one left over.

Thanks to the boundless generosity of my man in Israel — David of the always fine Treppenwitz — I have a new email address and I’ve decided to use it as an avenue of contact for my Pie readers. I figured the comment feature was a reasonable way to let you talk back without me being spammed into infinity, but I think this gmail thingie will lessen that risk. Besides, using nunya@biz.com might not have been obviously bogus enough for everyone trying to email me from my comments entries. (Names withheld to protect the… Well, you know who you are. Ha.)

Anyway, you’ll find it over there to the right underneath the archive links… Or, oh what the hell, I can just go to the trouble of typing it for you here: pieguy at gmail.com.

As typed, it’s been kinda sorta de-spam-ified. I trust you’ll be smart enough to know you’re supposed to use the @ symbol instead of typing “at” when you address your email. If not… Well, it’s probably best for both of us that I don’t get your message — if you’re a regular reader then you know I don’t suffer fools gladly but I’m glad to make them suffer.

So there you go. I have new email and I’m inviting all three or four of you to use it. Let the floodgates of email open!!!

Thanks, David!

El Steve is back on the air. The web is worth reading again.

Welcome back, buddy. And, uh, we need to talk. Expect a phone call tonight.

Thank God for the invention of camera cell phones and moblogs. There just weren’t enough out-of-focus pictures of food on the ‘net.

The gurus over at the Movable Type support forum gave me the fix for my column problem — my layout is now set so that there will always be seven entries listed on the index page, no matter how long it’s been since a new one, so the right column will stay where it belongs on the right.

Of course, this means that I now have a license to not post for weeks and weeks and weeks at a time, but that’s just a formality, really. It’s not like I wasn’t doing that already anyway…

Okay, I’m stumped. If any Movable Type gurus out there know why my right column is invading the left one when old entries go to the big archive in the sky — and, more importantly, know how to FIX it — please feel free to let me know. Like, yesterday.

It’s pissing me off.

Seeing as how my job is being downsized in a few months and I’ll be invited to “seek other opportunities” elsewhere, perhaps a career change is in order:

Your Stripper Name is Tiffany!

You’re a wild stripper… in fact, too wild for most clubs.
When you’re not at the raunchiest strip club in town, you take your act to private parties.
You strip and do all sorts of crazy tricks at bachelor parties, driving the guys wild.
Games, lesbian shows, and even a little handjob action are all a part of your routine.
You just want to have fun – and get paid to do it.
Chances are you’ll outgrow this stripper thing eventually, or become a hardcore porn star!

What’s *Your* Stripper Name?

This can’t be good.

What Famous Leader Are You?

This is my official There’s Pie in the Lunchroom Holiday Greeting.

Happy Holidays!