Hey, guess who has six more ABCDEF_mail (Fill in the spam-fighting blank. Hint: It’s a “G”) accounts to give away?

I know all three of my regular readers already have one (and you probably got it from my wife), but if any of you folks dropping in from the Big e-Mattress or Meat of the Matter to see who the dumb liberal with the big mouth is want one, let me know.

All you have to do is promise to vote Kerry in November.

(Ha, just kidding!)

(Maybe.)

Ha.

Courtesy of my close personal friend Jim at Meat of the Matter.

If there is any question in your mind that our President is an empty-headed moron, the first two minutes of this should remove all doubt.

Watch this. And then … just watch. I’ll bet it really does happen, probably in October.

Some wit (halfway, at least) scrawled just the cleverest bit of graffiti I’ve ever seen on the toilet seat cover dispenser in one of the stalls in the men’s room at work: John Kerry Party Hats!

Fun. Nee.

I had to respond, of course. I was tempted to go with something along the lines of “GWB Diploma” or “GWB National Guard discharge papers” but that was a little too obvious, I thought. Instead, I wrote: Typical Republican — so used to having your head up your ass, you think these are hats.

Ha.

There’s a measure of irony in the fact that John Ashcroft is in the hospital for what amounts to a back-up of bile.

I don’t wish him a speedy recovery.

I think Jeff sums it up beautifully:

Ralph Nader has decided to join the presidential race. He must be the kind of guy who in school told the absent-minded teacher not to forget to give out homework.

Headline: Bush to Have Knees Examined with MRI Scan

Reaction: His knees? How about his head!

Gray Davis is bouncing back from the recall nicely. He’s already found a new job!

Well, it looks like the recall is passing and Schwarzenegger is winning. The Republican leadership plotted and financed this recall, fanned by the flames of an energy crisis a Republican governor created, fueled by the anger at a car tax the same Republican governor left behind like a hand grenade, and now they’ve succeeded in stealing an office they couldn’t win (twice) in a legitimate election.

Un-fucking-believable. I’m embarrassed to be a Californian. That my fellow citizens can be so blind as to be manipulated into throwing out the guy they elected barely a year ago and replacing him with a puppet who has no plan, no experience, no qualifications and no class, is just flat out embarrassing. The electorate truly is a gang of mindless sheep who can be led by the nose.

The last time we put an actor into office out here, we wound up with the Republican party’s Great White Dope, Reagan, king of “Spend and spend” government. I hope we don’t see a repeat of that, because Zoe’s going to be busy enough already paying off Bush’s deficit when she grows up. I don’t think she’ll be able to afford another Reagan.

But I guess we’re getting the government we deserve. My only consolation is that I didn’t choose it.