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Why Space Ghost? He's my hero. I watch his show whenever I can find it, which isn't often since Comedy Central usually runs it at like 4 in the morning opposite the can't-miss Ronco Food Dehydrator infomercials. Ron Popeil. What a guy. Inventor of the Ronco Dial-O-Matic, the Popeil Bagel Cutter, Electric Egg Scrambler, Popeil Pasta Maker, the GLH #9 Hair System and that all-time classic, the Popeil Pocket Fisherman. A tireless font of dumb ideas. He may well be the brainiac who came up with the nondeposit deposit scheme over there on the right. I bet Space Ghost could kick his butt. |
I was teaching an Excel class at the regional office this afternoon
when the hammer took a big ol' swing and just missed me. Unfortunately
it hit my boss, so it's probably winged me too. Time will tell.
What the hell am I talking about? The unemployment line. My boss got
laid off today and they're shifting the base of operations for the training
program to a different office staffed by people I've never met or spoken
to. I feel bad for my boss, of course, but I feel worse for me. My current
schedule and contract runs through August, but what happens after that
is up for grabs.
Come Friday I'll have a new boss, but I don't know who or where that
person is. And they know the same about me. Will they continue the training
program? Probably not. Will they stick to the schedule that's set through
August? Who knows? Will they give me reasonable notice before they can
my ass? Extremely doubtful.
Sigh. Time to dust off the old resume again. Anybody out there know
of any jobs that involve training people to use software you could learn
in your sleep, jobs that are ridiculously overpaid? I hate job-hunting.
I almost hate it as much as actually working.
On the bright side, there's a kink in the house-selling endeavor. Of
course.
If you'll recall, we've already been through one buyer on this house
and it was an experience steeped in stupidity that fell apart all over
the place. We exacted our measure of revenge by refusing to release
the buyer's escrow deposit. Hey, she wasted our time and took our house
off the market in the middle of peak buying season. We frown on rewarding
that type of behavior. And so nearly a year later, her money is still
tied up.
Well, the worm, he has turned. It seems we can't legally go into escrow
with the new buyer until we clear the old buyer off the table. We need
to either release her money or jump through the required hoops to keep
it before her deal is officially closed. I vote for keeping her money,
but there is a glitch to that plan.
Stand by for rant mode.
This glitch is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of in the
history of stupid fucking things. It's a clause or rule or loophole
or get-out-of-jail-free card or whatever the hell you want to call it,
clearly conceived by a submoronic waterhead suffering from from what
had to be considered, even by submoronic waterhead standards, incapacitating
stu-fucking-pidity. All the other waterheads stood around laughing at
the guy who came up with this. He had to wear a duncecap for the rest
of the day, and they all get to call him Swifty for the rest of his
life. Even his mom laughed at him. I can't emphasize enough just how
stupid this thing is.
What is this stupid thing? In order for us -- or any seller -- to keep
a buyer's deposit after the deal goes south because of something the
buyer did: the buyer has to agree to forfeit the deposit. Like
that's ever going to happen. It's so stupid it makes my head hurt.
So our choices are to fight it out with the buyer to keep her deposit
and tie up the property until we win, which could take months or even
years, or we can bite our tongues and smile and thank her for wasting
out time and give her the money back without a fight so that we can
go forward with the new buyer. Who has of course put down a deposit
for, I now see, no apparent reason.
Clearly, we have no choice but to surrender the deposit. I'd kind of
like to deliver the check personally and cram it down her dirtbag throat,
but I don't think there are loopholes in that kind of action for the
crammer. Probably best to send flowers with it instead. But hey, maybe
I can make sure there are bees in them. Killer bees, from bad homes,
in bad moods, with bad attitudes.
Don't mind me. I'm just a little cranky tonight. I get that way when
I'm about to lose my job and I have to reward stupidity and duplicity.
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