August 18, 1999

I'm all aflutter tonight. I have high hopes that the twice-postphoned lunch with Viv will actually happen tomorrow.

I'm excited but nervous. As I told her when we spoke on the phone last week, I feel like I'm going on a blind date.

The thing is, this is worse than a blind date because since she reads my journal she knows way more about me then any blind date would.

Also, Viv thinks I have a smoky voice. Wow. Smoky. Chuck and I talked about it. "You sure she didn't say smoker."

(BTW: now that Chuck has joined the ranks of the nonsmokers he's become quite insufferable and reminds me every day that I'm a "slave to the weed." Thank you honey.)

Smoky is good. Very good. Especially since I hate my voice. I think I sound nasal. I'd much rather sound smoky.

Smoky, to me, implies a lot of things I wish I was. A lot of things I used to be. Now...I'm your garden-variety suburban housewife/mother.

I'm going to guess that Viv is going to find me to be more like what she sees in her mind than what she heard on the phone.

People who know me who've read my journal say that it sounds just like me and they can hear me speaking, so I guess in the TV lingo, it captures my voice. I prefer smoky though.

Viv is the second journaler I'll be meeting. If the first one is any indication, I think things will go well. I'm just so nervous and I know it's ridiculous but there it is.

What should I wear? Will I actually get it together enough to put some makeup on? Will she like me? Will I be smart, witty, and pleasant?

Now I know what Viv looks like. She has a picture of herself on her index page. Also she included a picture of herself with yesterday's entry. I have a distinct advantage now since I know what she looks like and she doesn't know what I look like.

I would post a picture here but the only ones I have that are halfway decent looking are not the kind of photos you want floating around for general consumption.

Chuck's been taking lots of pictures lately, practicing developing, printing, and whatnot, so we've been taking a lot of those kinds of photos you can't take to the one hour photo. I don't think Viv would recognize me from one of those pix anyway.

I have another upcoming encounter with fellow journalers. OK, they're not my fellow journalers but Chuck's. Members of the much-envied Archipelago webring are getting together. Some time next month Lucy is coming down to LA and we're having dinner with her and her husband, Diane and her husband, and the ubiquitous Evaporation's. I won't be much more than that much extra baggage but what the hell. I'm not nearly as nervous about that get-together as meeting Viv.

Sheesh, it's just lunch. But, like I said, it feels like a blind date.

Until next time. . .